I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
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