I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
