Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
