? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
