Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
i barfeds in our rink
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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