Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Randomize