update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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