Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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