You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
