dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Randomize
