shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
I party with great urgency now.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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