i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize