either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
You dont lie about slip and slides
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
