is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I think my fart just growled at me.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Randomize