well you can't waste a boner
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
