Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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