His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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