I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
