I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize