If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
We smell like vodka and hangover
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