And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
