i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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