Duck Duck Cougar?
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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