I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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