It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
