i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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