His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
