i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
