we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
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