I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
