If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Randomize
