why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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