shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
