Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
