i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
