what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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