I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
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