He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
