I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Enjoy the penises
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
