Fine. I'll sleep in my office
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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