the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
