I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
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