I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
