I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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