you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
