did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
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