I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
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