the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
