i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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