I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize