I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Randomize
