do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Randomize