Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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