Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Randomize
