She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
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