the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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