So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I love you. Go after that dick
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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