i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
