I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Randomize
