Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize