At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
