Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
