M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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