is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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