I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize