is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
