brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Randomize
