You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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