I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Randomize
