we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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