The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
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