the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Randomize