This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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