girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
