Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Randomize
