Pregnant stripper...not hot.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize